The Fathlete Starts P90X for real, this time!

So, remember, last week, when I talked about being all psyched and stuff about doing P90x, and how this was gonna rawwwwk, and all that? And how I did Core Synergistics, and how it was tough but not brutal, but I was looking forward to having my butt kicked by Cardio X and Kenpo X, and all the other X's?

Well, still looking forward to them. Because I kind of never did them.

What had happened was that I did Core that one time, and then took a mental health day or something, and then ran a 4 mile race on Thanksgiving morning. Four miles! It was awesome! And cleared me for some eating! And that's what I did...eat. And then at 2 a.m., my fiancee and I got up and ate again. Pie. With our hands. Like foul beasts, as my soon-to-be cousin in law Kenny says.

This would, you think, inspire me to get up and work out. Didn't happen. My friend Nathaniel came down from Baltimore and we went eating. Twice. I got up Saturday morning, intending to run, and never did. Sunday...you see the pattern, no?

But this morning, I had no excuses. It was a Monday, a great day for starting something, or starting over. Nathaniel was in South Beach, visiting some other friends, so he wasn't sleeping on the couch, which meant there was nothing between me and P90X but my laziness.

So I started all over again this morning, with Core Synergistics, and it was as tough as I remember. Tony was still tough but...can I say this? Annoying. He laughs at his own jokes. He gives people nicknames. He uses the word 'taunt' when he means "taut." He sounds and looks like what late comedian Richard Jeni would have looked like if he'd created a character who was an annoying, full-of-himself fitness trainer.

But I'm willing to stick this out, because he's the real deal. Also, because there is an option where you can tune Tony out, and I might need this.

Tomorrow: Cardio X! For real this time!

P90X Day 1: Core Synergistics - My trainer's harder!

OK...so I know that I've only done one and a half days of P90x, and that the Kenpo X and Plyometrics DVDs, which I've yet to meet, are gonna kick my booty all up and down the street, yelling at me and slapping me about the head and feet with a Swiffer.

But I gotta tell you - as much as I sweat during "Core Synergistics," my first full-length workout in the series, that I've sweat even worse in sessions with Victor my trainer. Maybe it's because guru Tony Horton has only the space of a fitness set to work with, and Victor has an entire grass field. But where Tony has you jumping through imaginary tires, Victor has you carrying a tire over your head doing laps around that field. Because he's an evil genius.

Here's the other thing about Tony - some of his chatter is confusing. I mean, you can figure it out if you watch the thing closely, but it's still odd. To wit: Sometimes he says "Grab a weight," which I took to mean to grab one heavier weight. But when I looked up, he and the Fitness Buddies were holding a weight in each hand. It's ok if you catch yourself, but "a" weight is one, singular.

On the plus side, like I said, I worked up a great sweat and am gonna feel it tomorrow. But Victor packs more of a punch. Above is a photo of him making us do jumping jacks. In a stairwell. After doing laps in a parking garage holding a medicine ball. I can't afford to see him every day, so this will have to do.

Tomorrow - Cardio X. I am frightened. Hold me.

The Fathlete's P90X Adventure, Day .5

Disclaimer: I am not one of those people who is getting paid to blog about Beachbody's P90x. I am a runner and have a trainer and am not gonna promise to do it every single day. I also might just wimp out and fake an injury.

But for what it's worth, I have now begun P90X, the big fad in the fitness situation. One of my co-workers, whose body is completely different than mine, has been doing it with her husband and adores it. I am encouraged, but I will reserve judgement because I don't know the particulars of her fitness before this. I don't know if her knees are good, or if she has lower back issues (I have some, which are not major, and I'm slightly worried about doing this program because there's a disclaimer that seems more disclaimey than the usual disclaimers.)

Tomorrow, I start the main program, but today, I did the AB Ripper X DVD, after a three mile run (speed work. Delicious.) It was challenging. I've been to equally hard classes at my former gym, but it's the hardest ab DVD I've ever seen.

You know what's interesting? Most of the DVDs I have ever done have been targeted at women, and all of the fitness extras in the back are women. But this one is lead by a guy, with only one women in the cast, and in a weird way this makes me think that no punches will be pulled. I mean, Jillian Michaels doesn't pull any punches either, but her workouts in the Shred are 20 minutes. The abs DVD alone on P90X is 15 minutes. And I feel it right now as I drink this big glass of wine.

Don't judge me.

So tomorrow, like I said, I'll be starting the program in earnest. I plan to do the Lean program, which has more cardio, and keep running on days that I don't have cardio for P90x. We'll see how long this lasts. Tomorrow sometime I'll get the Official Fathlete Photographer to snap a picture of me. Something tells me I'ma look like Fitness Hagatha.

But what are you gonna do?