The Fathlete Starts P90X for real, this time!

So, remember, last week, when I talked about being all psyched and stuff about doing P90x, and how this was gonna rawwwwk, and all that? And how I did Core Synergistics, and how it was tough but not brutal, but I was looking forward to having my butt kicked by Cardio X and Kenpo X, and all the other X's?

Well, still looking forward to them. Because I kind of never did them.

What had happened was that I did Core that one time, and then took a mental health day or something, and then ran a 4 mile race on Thanksgiving morning. Four miles! It was awesome! And cleared me for some eating! And that's what I did...eat. And then at 2 a.m., my fiancee and I got up and ate again. Pie. With our hands. Like foul beasts, as my soon-to-be cousin in law Kenny says.

This would, you think, inspire me to get up and work out. Didn't happen. My friend Nathaniel came down from Baltimore and we went eating. Twice. I got up Saturday morning, intending to run, and never did. Sunday...you see the pattern, no?

But this morning, I had no excuses. It was a Monday, a great day for starting something, or starting over. Nathaniel was in South Beach, visiting some other friends, so he wasn't sleeping on the couch, which meant there was nothing between me and P90X but my laziness.

So I started all over again this morning, with Core Synergistics, and it was as tough as I remember. Tony was still tough but...can I say this? Annoying. He laughs at his own jokes. He gives people nicknames. He uses the word 'taunt' when he means "taut." He sounds and looks like what late comedian Richard Jeni would have looked like if he'd created a character who was an annoying, full-of-himself fitness trainer.

But I'm willing to stick this out, because he's the real deal. Also, because there is an option where you can tune Tony out, and I might need this.

Tomorrow: Cardio X! For real this time!

P90X Day 1: Core Synergistics - My trainer's harder!

OK...so I know that I've only done one and a half days of P90x, and that the Kenpo X and Plyometrics DVDs, which I've yet to meet, are gonna kick my booty all up and down the street, yelling at me and slapping me about the head and feet with a Swiffer.

But I gotta tell you - as much as I sweat during "Core Synergistics," my first full-length workout in the series, that I've sweat even worse in sessions with Victor my trainer. Maybe it's because guru Tony Horton has only the space of a fitness set to work with, and Victor has an entire grass field. But where Tony has you jumping through imaginary tires, Victor has you carrying a tire over your head doing laps around that field. Because he's an evil genius.

Here's the other thing about Tony - some of his chatter is confusing. I mean, you can figure it out if you watch the thing closely, but it's still odd. To wit: Sometimes he says "Grab a weight," which I took to mean to grab one heavier weight. But when I looked up, he and the Fitness Buddies were holding a weight in each hand. It's ok if you catch yourself, but "a" weight is one, singular.

On the plus side, like I said, I worked up a great sweat and am gonna feel it tomorrow. But Victor packs more of a punch. Above is a photo of him making us do jumping jacks. In a stairwell. After doing laps in a parking garage holding a medicine ball. I can't afford to see him every day, so this will have to do.

Tomorrow - Cardio X. I am frightened. Hold me.

The Fathlete's P90X Adventure, Day .5

Disclaimer: I am not one of those people who is getting paid to blog about Beachbody's P90x. I am a runner and have a trainer and am not gonna promise to do it every single day. I also might just wimp out and fake an injury.

But for what it's worth, I have now begun P90X, the big fad in the fitness situation. One of my co-workers, whose body is completely different than mine, has been doing it with her husband and adores it. I am encouraged, but I will reserve judgement because I don't know the particulars of her fitness before this. I don't know if her knees are good, or if she has lower back issues (I have some, which are not major, and I'm slightly worried about doing this program because there's a disclaimer that seems more disclaimey than the usual disclaimers.)

Tomorrow, I start the main program, but today, I did the AB Ripper X DVD, after a three mile run (speed work. Delicious.) It was challenging. I've been to equally hard classes at my former gym, but it's the hardest ab DVD I've ever seen.

You know what's interesting? Most of the DVDs I have ever done have been targeted at women, and all of the fitness extras in the back are women. But this one is lead by a guy, with only one women in the cast, and in a weird way this makes me think that no punches will be pulled. I mean, Jillian Michaels doesn't pull any punches either, but her workouts in the Shred are 20 minutes. The abs DVD alone on P90X is 15 minutes. And I feel it right now as I drink this big glass of wine.

Don't judge me.

So tomorrow, like I said, I'll be starting the program in earnest. I plan to do the Lean program, which has more cardio, and keep running on days that I don't have cardio for P90x. We'll see how long this lasts. Tomorrow sometime I'll get the Official Fathlete Photographer to snap a picture of me. Something tells me I'ma look like Fitness Hagatha.

But what are you gonna do?

A Fathlete Meets Jillian's "Shred" and Doesn't Die!

OK, possums! I greet you on the second day of my journey with Jillian Michaels' 30 Day Shred. I haven't gotten p90x yet - waiting for that - but so far this is great! I was expecting it to be horrific, because I've heard people can't walk after it. But I guess I've been prepared by all of my workouts with the Notorious Victor, and by all those boot camps at my now-former gym, especially Trina's. Trina is no joke. At all.

Neither is Jillian - I did Level 1 on Wednesday night, and was worked out well but not murdered. On the advice of my bridesmaid and planner and soul sister Kiki, I did Levels 1 and 2 this morning, and I am not gonna be happy tomorrow morning, I can tell you that. It was very challenging - I think I need to get 5-pound hand weights, because some of the lateral moves are hard with the 8 pounders I have. But it was 40 minutes, and I wasn't destroyed. I hear that Level 3 is insane. Like, brutal and bad.

I am gonna run tomorrow, and do Jillian's 1 and 2 on Saturday, because I have Halloween shenanigans on Saturday and am not committing to running Sunday. At all.

Introducing: The Fathlete Bridal Blog! Celebrate!

This is not my wedding dress. But it could've been.

So, this blog is about me trying not to be a big fat girl. And my life, recently, became about being a bride. So now, this blog is going to be about being a bride, and not a big fat one.

And also about the difficulties of finding a tiara to go with a fro.

I should call it "Go With The Fro!"

Anyway, this is an interesting week for me, wedding and fitness wise. I am now officially divorced from my big gym, BiggestLoserFitness (ahem), and am maximizing my fitness dollar. I am still seeing Victor, the evil trainer (Hey, man!) and still running (I think I am doing at least two more half marathons before the wedding, because if I am always training, I am always focused.)

I also just purchased two home remedies - Jillian Michael's "The Shred" and the fearsome-looking P90X, along with a chin-up bar. I cannot do chin-ups now, but the P90x people swear I'll be able to do a thousand, plus bench press a bus and Jillian Michaels, when I'm done.

The cool thing is that my dress is beautiful as it is, although I'd love to lose about 10 pounds between now and June. Or just tighten up. Do the tighten up! I'm Archie Bell, and these here are the Drells! We got a new song called the 'Tighten Up!'

Sorry. Drell break.

The Fathlete Returneth to Present: BRIDAL SMACKDOWN!

It's been more than a month since I posted a Fathlete - I had my reasons, like not being able to find my camera cord, and then having my good computer sick in the Apple hospital for two weeks, and then kinda being lazy.

Fortunately, none of those involved having gained lots and lots of weight and having retreated to a cave. Made of mashed potatoes.

But here's the reason I'm back, besides the fact that this blog helped keep me on track and motivated and publically accountable - I'M GETTING MARRIED!!!!!!

Yes, on June 5, 2010, The Fathlete will be Mrs. Scott Mitchell Zervitz. She will be marrying the man of her dreams. And she doesn't want to look at the pictures and go "I should not have eaten that egg roll."

I am also in the last two weeks of my training for the half-marathon portion of the Baltimore Marathon, which I will be doing with my sister. This will not be the world's fastest half, but it's gonna be solid, and fun. Two days later, I'm going wedding dress shopping with my sister and my grandmother. All of this means I'm now accountable, and on the case, and working hard. I'm gonna be the most awesomest bride in the woooooorld.

Check it out!

A Triumphant Fathlete Bridesmaid Returns!

Hello, gentle readers! I have been out of touch for two weeks, because I was in the Northlands meeting parents and being a bridesmaid, all without the cord to my camera. However, I did manage to have photos taken of me by people who did have their camera-to-computer connections happening, so I can show you evidence of both my hard work, and of the bridesmaids' dress that started this great experiment. It is the Harriet Beecher Stowe of bridesmaid's dresses. (The attractive woman on the left is my friend Stephanie, who is skinny skinny skinny since she started grad school. Is that what it takes?)

I cannot lie and say that this vacation went perfectly, nutritionally, because there were at least two pieces of catfish, three hushpuppies and some fried okra, about a quarter cup. The fact that I can give you the measurements of my fat food is either evidence of my vigilance, my obsession, or my need for another vacation. But I worked out almost every day, and I learned the following thing. Are you ready for this?

IT'S OKAY.

It was okay to have fun, even with that two or three cups of cheese balls with the cheez flavor covering all the fat fried delicious fatness, or that strawberry shortcake that was made from fairy dust, heaven parts and butter. I had a little and then moved on. I did not lose any weight this week. But I didn't have to. The whole point was having a dress that I could not look fat in, and I didn't. I still see some pictures from that wedding where my boobs are weird and my butt is big, and you won't see them here because it's my blog and hell if I'm showing them to you. 

The point is that it's better and I'm keeping it going. And that's awesome. I hope to get awesomer.

Which is not a word. But then again...my blog.